Where can i hang up my superhero cape?

(written on friday lol)

It is only Friday and it has been the longest week ever, if like me you haven't gone back to work, everyday is a Monday! I don't even know what day of the week it is anymore! My job is never ending, Monday-sunday 24 hour shifts. I can't lie it has been a hard week, these teeth don't seem to want to come out and I would call this a "recessive week" because I feel like all week we have just gone back to square one and all the improvement that I have been seeing has just gone down he toilet. We started the week with not wanting to eat ummm Milena have you looked at yourself you zumo baby, your fave time of the day is titty and food time, so why you not eating fam?? All I was getting at the start of the week was push up lips, stretched out legs and the lovely new habit of spitting out food!!! I was making her favourite and even giving her fruit at lunch (we only do fruit in the morning and then at lunch we have veg and some sort of legume) and nothing, Milena was trying to make mummy dash the food and walk away lol. But I know that they pick up your behavioural patterns and I don't want her to associate food time with me getting angry, so instead I sucked up my anger and frustration and sang every nursery rhyme I knew back to back and well today is Friday and it seems like she is eating again (thank god) so I hope we carry on that path!!! Then my second obstacle was sleeping, Milena has a few weeks where she does this, she wakes up every half an hour at night to comfort feed on me!!! Maria aka dummy, mummy the dummy!! Someone pass me a hard liquor because even the thought of the lack of sleep I have been facing this week is making me need something strong to erase these days from my memory (double spiced rum with an ice cube would be the shit right now) why is it that when I swear now even in writing I feel bad lol!!! But anyways, after having read online and gone to the health visitor (I don't know why I even asked her because how is someone as young as me without kids meant to know what to do with a baby, but we will leave that rant for another day) and today I have put her in her side cot which is next to my bed and I have refused to let her fall asleep on the boob. I did our normal bed time routine, fed her and then put her in her cot, she played around in it and was smiling at me (she must of thought I was playing or joking) and then for an hour she was talking to herself and then the tears started, I rocked that bed with every last bit of energy that I possessed and stuck a dummy in her mouth, Milena doesn't even know what to do with a dummy, I was so adamant to never give her one, but I thought I would give it a try, she just won't take it, but today she actually sucked on it a bit. And slowly but surely with the rapid rock of the cot, she eventually drifted asleep and she is now lightly snoring next to me in her cot!!! So food seems to be getting back on track and hopefully in a few days my baby will learn how to not depend on the boob so much to fall asleep and hopefully I can go back to having at least 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep (3 measly hours, I am a victim lol) and hopefully I can start increasing that, oh I can't wait to be able to sleep the whole night without Milena waking up!!! On a more positive note, this week we have been very busy, because she has been crying a lot and not eating or sleeping properly as a coping mechanism I have kept very busy, I have gone to play groups, shopping, lunch and the park. I have kept very busy this week to insure that both of us don't loose it at home. And for anyone that is going through anything similar I think it's what's best. I have also been a bit more relaxed with my cleaning. I love my house being clean, I aim to hoover and mop daily, however this week I have been so tired And have told myself that it's ok to just sit down when she is asleep and there have been nights where I have left parsnip and swede mash droppings on the floor and you lot can judge me all you want, because I would probs judge you but I am so no bothered because it felt so good to go to sleep without feeling a way and in the morning I just mopped it with her morning mess (I live in a tall building I would not recommend if you have a garden because ants are not cute)!! My advice for the day is "not everyday superwoman, sometimes chill" On that note I really wish I had a strong alcoholic drink but I'm a Breast feeding, milk machine, so instead I will do some internet shopping, my other favourite past time, peace out zxx