Werk…Werk…Werk

Each day Milena gets older consequently I have been asking myself when to go back to work. I have been debating whether to write about this because I haven't actually made up my mind as to what I am going to do!

Firstly the job I had before was very fast pace and long hours, I would be in the office from 7.30-8pm sometimes and with a baby it would be too much to go back to those hours.

When I was pregnant my plan was to go back to work when Milena was 8months, but as the days get closer and closer I can't imagine being without her! I don't really want anyone else to look after my daughter when she is so young because I personally feel like she still needs me around, the fact that Milena won't take a bottle or a dummy (little miss nipple lover) also limits me, if I still haven't been able to have a night or day or even 2 hours alway from her I don't know how I'm expected to leave her for my 9-5.

So it leaves me in a bit of a pickle, because I know that nursery is good for children, they learn a lot and other people sometimes have a lot more patience than you do with your children. Interacting with children makes them learn a lot more and they can make friends. Ok Milena is just 6 months, I'm her only friend lol, but in the long run I know that I have to leave her. But I for one want to wait as long as possible, because I'm just enjoying being with her for now. I don't want to miss one thing and I think that is one of the good things about being a young mum as much as time is ticking around us, we can still take our time a bit before getting back on the work force. I do sometimes miss adult conversation and the freedom to have some time to myself but that's motherhood!!!

Another side of me thinks, I went to uni, I can't leave the work force for long, I need to climb up that ladder for myself. I had so much ambition and I need to utilise my talents, however I am comfortable and happy and I will never get the years back when Milena is a baby so I just want to dedicate all my time to my daughter.

I just don't know what I will do in 6Months when she is 1 do I go back to uni and do another course?? Because having studied marketing communications will I ever be able to go into that field as a young mother?? Because it is so competitive ( like many careers ) and I have a daughter, I can't be doing the long hours and climbing from the bottom, to then get my daughter from nursery and to then do her homework, bath time and story time. I don't think it's enough time to dedicate to a child. I would need a job that pays well and that is flexible for mothers. I know that a good job when your a mother is to work for the NHS but I can not be a nurse or a midwife or anything like that or to be a teacher but I am not patient!! So what is the other option? To start my own business!!! so if all goes well, I will have to go down that route, and work when Milena is napping and asleep at night and hopefully that will get me to where I see myself in 2 years and if not, then back to the drawing board I go!!!